Family dynamics are always changing. Qualities that made a person a great parent
might not carry over into the world of grand
parenting.
There are
two sides to every coin and you may or may not have memories of both. Some
remember grandparents in terms of stories read and cookies baked, but others remember
grandparents who were stern disciplinarians and not much fun. No matter which side of the coin you
remember; you still knew, without a doubt, that they cared about you.
Grand parenting today is different. Modern grandparents tend to be younger, healthier
and more active, but that doesn’t mean that they care any less. It might just mean that they are busier or
that they are trying harder to learn what their place in the family really is. Grandchildren still need time, love and acceptance,
but it is important to remember that they are not your children. Parents always need to be in the loop. No
secret plans, gifts or activities without consulting mom and dad. After all everyone wants to be on the same page
in regards to the best interest of the
child.
Remember:
- Spare the hurt feelings and be
fair. Your children will be struggling to build their own traditions so
you don’t want to pout if they want to host the holiday dinners. Smile
graciously and ask what you can do to help. - Make sure that your home is a
place where your children and your grandchildren want to come. If you are too fussy and establish too
many rules you may not realize that you are driving them away until it is
too late. - Be kind but firm about behavior
guidelines. Children need to learn
to respect the adults in their lives. It is important that you are on the
same page when it comes to correcting or disciplining their children. Discipline
is fine but don’t be remembered for being a cranky disciplinarian. Be
flexible and have a sense of
humor. - Don’t get out of sorts because you don’t
think modern kids are being disciplined properly. It is important to be
open and to discuss all issues in a positive way and to work together to
create accord. - Be fun. If the kids have to be
dragged kicking and screaming to your house it is because they don’t enjoy
being there. Your house shouldn’t
be so sterile that kids can’t have fun. Try to plan events and activities
that children will cherish for a lifetime.
How much something costs is not the issue. You will be surprised to
hear, years later, that bird watching walks in the woods or learning how
to knit made indelible impressions on young minds.
Make an
effort to make each child feel special. Fill children with a sense of self worth. Skip the headshaking and dour predictions.
You really can make a difference.
Relationships aren’t easy at any age, but if you care
enough to want to try you will enjoy reading the excellent book “Family for
Life” by Kathy Peel (www.familymanager.com)
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