A tentative handshake or inability to enjoy a boisterous hug should not make you feel socially inept, but how do you tell the world that?
Does a handshake affect how people perceive you? You bet it does. “Cold fish” is the old fashioned term used to describe a limp lifeless handshake and you can imagine what that says about you.
Everyone is expected to not only offer a hand but to shake hands correctly if they want to be taken seriously, but what if you can’t? Statistics tell us that 55% of people over 65 have arthritis, and hands are particularly vulnerable.
Does not having a strong grip mean that you are socially inept or lack confidence? I hope not, but at least know that you are not alone if an expected handshake makes you recoil.
The handshake is a cultural icon but not everyone can respond to this common courtesy. My friends with arthritis beg me to tell you that handshakes and bone jarring hugs are painful to them. Your enthusiasm is much appreciated, but try not to judge them if they cannot return the gesture.
How do you handle the situation? It gets tiresome always having to explain, but it may be the only way to head of an enthusiastic hug or handshake.
If a handshake is unavoidable try to grasp the other persons hand first to initiate the contact, or grasp their hand lightly in both of yours.
Social situations call for creativity. You can avoid handshakes by holding something in your right hand, or if you are stuck in a receiving line wear a splint of brace.
In casual situations perhaps a gentle fist bump or a high five will do. Human contact is important and it sends a lovely message, but it isn’t the whole picture.
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