You want to be independent. You want to stay in your own home, but are you being realistic? Think about it. Are you able to keep up with house and yard chores? Can you navigate stairs safely and comfortably? If you have a fall, are you able to call for help or get up unassisted? Did you take your medicines today? Are you doing your own grocery shopping or preparing nutritious meals? Answers to these questions address the main issue; how well you are managing “activities of daily living.” Be honest. If you are struggling, it may be time to consider moving on.
Moving on does not have to be the end of life as you know it. Moving on does not necessarily mean “moving” in a physical sense, although it may. Moving on might just refer to downsizing, house sharing, living with family members, engaging in an exercise program, senior proofing your home, or hiring help.
Moving on will not change you as a person. Independence is more than where you choose to live. Independence is about making good decisions and about taking care of yourself.
Taking care of yourself is a priority whether you find yourself alone or caring for someone else. People of our generation have been surrounded by other people from day one. You lived with parents and siblings before going off to college, entering the workforce, or enlisting in the military. You lived in a dorm or had housemates to share expenses until you married, and it started all over again. At times you probably wondered if you would ever be truly alone.
There is a certain comfort associated with being surrounded by others, but every one of us, at one time or another, has dreamed of a perfect Zen state where peace and calm reigns. Alas, when that day arrives, you will likely find that you aren’t ready, not to mention that sitting in the lotus position and meditating may not be your cup of tea at all.
More and more people are finding themselves alone for the first time in their lives. The first taste of aloneness occurs when children leave the nest, but that is nothing compared to the “aloneness” associated with divorce or widowhood. Alone vs loneliness. Learning how to combat loneliness is another facet of independent living.
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