How independent are you? Everyone likes to be taken care of, but the difference between being dependent and being independent is huge. If you operated under a division of labor system for most of your adult life, you may not be as proficient at self-care as you think you are.
It’s different now. You are alone or find yourself in the role of a caregiver. There is no longer a division of labor. You are in charge of everything, which includes your own health, safety, and wellbeing.
There are two ways to determine your capabilities. The first is centered around how well you manage your own personal care. Personal care refers to ordinary things like bathing, dressing, feeding yourself, and remembering to take your medicines.
The second determination includes pretty much everything else. Think about how you handle meal preparation, shopping, paying bills, house and yard maintenance, driving, and cleaning up your messes. As you can see, independence is not based solely on physical capabilities, but on everything you can do or can’t do.
You need to be able to recognize that you may not be able to do everything on your own. If someone asks you how you are doing, what do you say? If you feel insulted or defensive you need to figure out why. Try not to interpret suggestions and offers of help as criticisms.
The ability to manage on your own is not an “all or nothing at all” deal. Everyone reaches a point where they may require a little help. If you are a good manager, you can still be in charge. Knowing when to delegate becomes a real plus.
You scoff. You have been taking care of yourself, and others too, all of your adult life. How hard could it possibly be? “Hard” is just the tip of the iceberg. The world has become quite complicated in the years between then and now, and it may finally dawn on you that you didn’t fully appreciate the role of your “significant others.” We all have a lot to learn.
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